I’ve always walked at light speed though and been told to slow down by friends, colleagues, husband but it’s impossible, yesterday I walked at a normal speed and felt calm. I didn’t have the massive sense of urgency about everything that I usually have – when I leave the house usually it’s mentally quite hectic, trying to remember everything and always forgetting something essential like a purse, phone, entire handbag, yesterday I calmly got everything I needed, confident that I hadn’t forgotten anything and I hadn’t!!!
I wasn’t impatient when I had to wait in a queue for twenty minutes and I had work I needed to do, I was able to wait with a calm acceptance. I’m normally rushing and achieving very little but yesterday I felt calm, in control and achieved more than I’d hoped with much less effort. My sense of time seemed better, I wasn’t late or rushing. Best of all I wasn’t battling my own brain.
It’s felt like there’s a control room in my head and the operators are constantly sending me all over the place for fun doing unimportant tasks and I’ve been having to battle them and pull myself back to what I have prioritised. Yesterday my brain didn’t keep sending me off track, when thoughts popped into my head, my brain calmly pushed them aside as if to a filing tray to deal with later and I wasn’t distracted and remained on course with my most important task! The medication has shown just how much mental energy I use in battling these incorrect brain directions and the happiness and relief I have that my brain now just works is massive.
It also improved my conversations with people and I can already see a positive impact on my family relationships. I feel like the true me is visible now. My brain is fixed and I am so, so grateful.